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SMS Jokes
*I remind u that the most
powerful force in the universe is sms gossip
*Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
*If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
*I pretend to work here - they pretend to pay me.
*The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.
*If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
*Bud, what happen??? tried callin many time, everytime i get operator
sayin 'Sorry, The Subscriber U R Calling is having Sex, Please try again
later.'
Q: Why did the blond get fired from the banana plantation?
A: Because she threw out all the bent ones.
*I think it is time I tell you what people are saying behind your back...!
Nice Ass.
*The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half
by our children.
*U got Sex Appeal...U got Class...U got Moves...U got da Face, da
Body....shit...I got wrong number...SORRY
*Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory
*NEWSFLASH - Earthquake in Pakistan...20,000 dead...US sending cash,
Australia sending food, Britain sending replacement Pakis.
*A husband was asked: Do u talk to wife after sex?
His answer: Depends, if I can find a phone
*HELP: Cops are after a suspect who smart, witty, sexy and good lookin...so
where you gonna hide ME?
*Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press
the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
*Press down..More...Ok more...WOW yes ahh ohh yes....almost there....oh
god harder..faster..FEELS GOOD...oh goddd!...That's how I sex on text!
*News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo... 1 was caught watching tv...
another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt
message
*God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested
*The longest sentence known to man: "I do."
*This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog,
idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without
the word dog.
*Why were males created before females?
Cos you always need a rough draft before the final copy.
*I want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna
feel you in my mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice cream!
*There was this Eskimo chick who spent the night with her boyfriend. Next
morning she found out she was 6 months pregnant.
*What did the elephant say to the naked man?
How do you breathe through that thing?
*What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?
Magnets have a positive side!
*The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity
of your action.
*Why was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed?
Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV.
*Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is
aiming just a little too high.
*Why do farts smell? For benefit of the deaf
*If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
*Borrow money from pessimists--they don't expect it back
*What do you call a handcuffed man?
- Trustworthy.
*A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
*Marriage is a three ring circus: an engagement ring, a wedding ring, and
suffering
*Why did God create Whiskey? To keep the Irish from ruling the world!!
*Did you ever walk into a room and and forget why you walked in? that's
how dogs spend their lives.
*Pleas turn your mobile phone upside down now!!! Hurry
370HSSV 0773H
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