Money may talk but it seems to be very hard of hearing when you call it.

My parents are in the iron and steel business. Mom irons and Dad steals.

Patience is the art of concealing your impatience.

The secret of perpetual youth is to lie about your age.

It is true that plumbers' fantasies are called pipe dreams.

Want to stop an argument between a man and his wife? Take sides.

A computer programmer at a party is introducing
his wife, 'Meet my wife@home. com.'

The only successful substitutes for a lack of brain is silence.

A baldheaded man is one who came out on top and still lost.

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