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Amusing one-liners
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle
If your parents didn't have any kids, there's a good chance you won't.
College professor - someone who talks in other peoples sleep
Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much
God must love the common people, he made so many of them.
Always use tasteful words. You may have to eat them.
Overpopulation : When people take leave of their census
Bank Rule: To get a loan, first prove you don't need it.
Intel inside. Idiot outside.
Old musicians never die. They just decompose
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
9 out of 10 men who try Camels prefer women.
I cna ytpe 300 wrods pre mniuet.
Where there's a will, there's an Inheritance Tax.
Very few people can afford to be poor.
We are the people our parents warned us about.
You will get a fair trial, after which you will be shot.
100% of all smokers die. So do 100% of all non-smokers.
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